From tonight's email to my lovely girls:
Today my mind and heart have really been returning to a concept
I want to talk about for a few moments: modesty and the godly woman's
clothing. The thought didn't really spring from any one recent event or
Scripture passage, but it has been weighing on my heart, and I'd like to
speak both practically and spiritually with you today.
Believe me, the
feminine closet is an ever-present responsibility. So many factors to
consider! Such a delicate balance to be found between equally unlovely
opposite sides of the spectrum. What a lot of maintenance--because for
the woman who loves her Savior and strives to honor his name in every
area of her life, the wardrobe is an especially challenging project to
tackle. But it must be given careful thought, for just as in any other
aspect, carelessness or a headstrong "I'll-do-it-my-way" attitude is not
indicative of complete submission to the Holy Spirit.
First, let me say that for us, maintaining a God-honoring closet
requires a lot of prayer. That sounds silly, doesn't it? What kind of
nutcase prays about what to wear?
Well, I do. Here's why.
#1: God made women beautiful. Everything about the
feminine character, from her physical design to the varied blends of
personality, temperament, style, mannerisms, voice, mind and
articulation, etc. etc. were designed by God and crafted all together in
one creature called a woman, to be the helper to his first creation,
man, and to glorify the name of the Lord by gracing his creation with
femininity.
#2: God is honored when women cultivate and nourish
their womanliness, and purposefully blossom into creatures of grace,
gentleness, beauty, intelligence, and helpfulness. I like to think of
this metamorphosis as stemming from a spiritual "core," which is simply
100% devoted to loving Jesus Christ and serving him first of all. Then,
as the Spirit works his sanctification in you, outward manifestations
become evident of this inward change--including changes in how you
speak, dress, move, act and react in response to the world around you.
You blossom into a wholly feminine woman.
#3: Even Adam in a perfect world full of marvelous creatures was
incomplete, and when he saw Eve, he knew he'd been given what no other
creature in the world could be--a soulmate and companion, a helper, a
wife (Genesis 2:18-25).
And, because women are innately desirable to men (and men
to women, for that matter--but that is another conversation for another
day), and because we live in a terribly fallen world that is deformed
by sin that twists and mars this beautiful attraction, we sometimes
forget what it was meant to be and we look to the sin-seeped culture,
observing its counterfeits, and because we are weak, we succumb and do
the same--sometimes even unintentionally, that's how ingrained we can
become in the ways of the flesh. Little things slip in here and there,
and bit by bit our wholesome feminine essence is chipped away and sold
out for something that is not only cheap and fake, it is wrong and it
dishonors God, and it is a very serious offense. That's why we have to
talk about this, no matter what your current feelings are --awkward,
eye-rolling, worried, open--whatever. You need to consider these things
if you never have before, and if you've heard them a hundred times, you
still need to hear them again, and then we all need to open our closet
doors and get on our knees before God.
Feminine modesty is not an inconsequential matter. If the
devil can get you to believe so, he'll have you--a "good Christian
girl"--as a spectacular tool in his claws to make great men fall and
wreak havoc in the kingdom of God. Do not go down so easy, dear ones.
I'm not going to talk to you about "respecting yourself."
I'm not even going to talk to you about how precious, cherished, and
valuable women are in God's eyes--this is true, but tonight I'm talking
about what goes on your mind, in your heart, that makes you select the things to wear that you do. What are your motives? Don't
bypass your heart's motives and be confused by the many
lesser-important things that come into play--for example, I like clothes
reminiscent of hippie/bohemian/earthy/old world romanticism, and I
(almost) despise business attire. Not because one is better than the
other, but because I simply like one more and the other less, in
conjunction with my personality. Other factors that necessarily
contribute to the clothing you choose will be the work and play that
occupies your time, the socioeconomic class and geographical area in
which you live, the season of the year, whether the event is formal or
casual, etc. But none of these things has the power to be modest and
God-honoring--or otherwise--without your heart's direction and
motivation.
Let's not get bogged down with skirt-length regulations,
T-shirt circumference rules, or earring length gauges. Here's the crux
of the matter: if you love Jesus, really really love him, and you've
been saved by the grace of God through his Son Jesus, if you're walking
on the road that is narrow and scorned by many, looking neither to the
left nor to the right, if you have tasted of the love of God, then you
will love the people in the world around you (including men) with the
love that God bestowed on you who were unworthy--this love is the love
of a sister for her brothers, a daughter for her father, a mother for
her son, a wife for her husband--a love that helps, upholds, encourages,
eases burdens and assists them in their wearisome battles. I am a
sister to four brothers; many of you are sisters to brothers as well,
and if you haven't a brother, I bet there is either a dad or a cousin or
a nephew-- all of whom you won't be marrying, but whom you still love
fiercely. A sister's love is angry when foolish girls tempt her
brothers, even subtly. You need to be the girl who is loving these men,
praying for them, and helping to shovel rocks out of the path, not
standing there throwing more in their way.
In my mind, I see the faces and know the names of girls
who go to youth group, go to church, occasionally post something
Bible-ish on Facebook, but persistently cause their brothers in the Lord
to stumble because they refuse to love those men with a selfless love
that cares more for others than for oneself. They have their reward now,
dear girls--the silly attention of foolish boys (see Proverbs 7) and
the jealous half-friendships of equally trite girls. But, oh, my dear
little sisters--do not be deceived--they will each give account for
these things. You and I will stand before God and give an account as
well. I have no desire to explain for years of egocentric
living, wearing whatever garners immediate attention, regardless of the
long-term consequences of wrecking other people's hearts and minds, do
you?
But I'm telling you, sweet ones, it won't be easy. No way. It's
hard to be quiet and modest, because you will be overlooked, ignored,
misunderstood, and all manner of other unpleasant things. It's hard
because your biggest battles aren't from the outside, they're waged from
within between our carnal nature and our new nature in Christ! It's
hard because you will want the attention those other flashy girls
get, you'll feel unlovely and not beautiful at times, and besides all
of that, it will be inconvenient and a lot of work. These are all things
the devil will gladly point out to you in hopes of getting you to give
up on the mission altogether, in order to concentrate on "more
important" aspects of your Christian life. He might suggest that you go
on a mission trip or volunteer someplace doing something benevolent, anything
to pacify your conscience and keep you wearing the clothes that are
hurting God's up-and-coming men who are currently making the devil
nervous. You'd be the perfect, subtle thing to trip them up and keep
them from doing anything really worthwhile. Then you can all limp along
in carnal Christianity, totally crippled spiritually and accomplishing
nothing for the kingdom. Perfect.
I know, I know--this letter's getting long.
You get the point. It's serious stuff here, girls. I'm not trying to be a
killjoy--honestly! I love putting together outfits and accessories as
much as any girl. It's so fun to find just the perfect thing.
That's all fine and good, but please, please think about what you're
wearing, who you're wearing it for, and why you picked this item over
that one--examine what's going on way down there in those reeeally hidden places of your heart. Perhaps all is not as it seems, and some serious prayer and wardrobe re-vamping are in order.
It may sound simple or cliched, but seriously, if Jesus
Christ, your Lord and Savior whom you love and adore, saw you in
everything you wear, walked with you, sat with you, and saw you in
action--would he rejoice or would he be grieved? And by the way, no need
to imagine if he were by your side . . . he already is.
All my love,
~Brenna
. . . Coram Deo . . .
"Living before the face of God"
