The Blog Post About Women and Clothes

From tonight's email to my lovely girls:

Today my mind and heart have really been returning to a concept I want to talk about for a few moments: modesty and the godly woman's clothing. The thought didn't really spring from any one recent event or Scripture passage, but it has been weighing on my heart, and I'd like to speak both practically and spiritually with you today.

Believe me, the feminine closet is an ever-present responsibility. So many factors to consider! Such a delicate balance to be found between equally unlovely opposite sides of the spectrum. What a lot of maintenance--because for the woman who loves her Savior and strives to honor his name in every area of her life, the wardrobe is an especially challenging project to tackle. But it must be given careful thought, for just as in any other aspect, carelessness or a headstrong "I'll-do-it-my-way" attitude is not indicative of complete submission to the Holy Spirit.

First, let me say that for us, maintaining a God-honoring closet requires a lot of prayer. That sounds silly, doesn't it? What kind of nutcase prays about what to wear?

Well, I do. Here's why.

#1: God made women beautiful. Everything about the feminine character, from her physical design to the varied blends of personality, temperament, style, mannerisms, voice, mind and articulation, etc. etc. were designed by God and crafted all together in one creature called a woman, to be the helper to his first creation, man, and to glorify the name of the Lord by gracing his creation with femininity.

 #2: God is honored when women cultivate and nourish their womanliness, and purposefully blossom into creatures of grace, gentleness, beauty, intelligence, and helpfulness. I like to think of this metamorphosis as stemming from a spiritual "core," which is simply 100% devoted to loving Jesus Christ and serving him first of all. Then, as the Spirit works his sanctification in you, outward manifestations become evident of this inward change--including changes in how you speak, dress, move, act and react in response to the world around you. You blossom into a wholly feminine woman.

#3: Even Adam in a perfect world full of marvelous creatures was incomplete, and when he saw Eve, he knew he'd been given what no other creature in the world could be--a soulmate and companion, a helper, a wife (Genesis 2:18-25).

And, because women are innately desirable to men (and men to women, for that matter--but that is another conversation for another day), and because we live in a terribly fallen world that is deformed by sin that twists and mars this beautiful attraction, we sometimes forget what it was meant to be and we look to the sin-seeped culture, observing its counterfeits, and because we are weak, we succumb and do the same--sometimes even unintentionally, that's how ingrained we can become in the ways of the flesh. Little things slip in here and there, and bit by bit our wholesome feminine essence is chipped away and sold out for something that is not only cheap and fake, it is wrong and it dishonors God, and it is a very serious offense. That's why we have to talk about this, no matter what your current feelings are --awkward, eye-rolling, worried, open--whatever. You need to consider these things if you never have before, and if you've heard them a hundred times, you still need to hear them again, and then we all need to open our closet doors and get on our knees before God.

Feminine modesty is not an inconsequential matter. If the devil can get you to believe so, he'll have you--a "good Christian girl"--as a spectacular tool in his claws to make great men fall and wreak havoc in the kingdom of God. Do not go down so easy, dear ones.

I'm not going to talk to you about "respecting yourself." I'm not even going to talk to you about how precious, cherished, and valuable women are in God's eyes--this is true, but tonight I'm talking about what goes on your mind, in your heart, that makes you select the things to wear that you do. What are your motives? Don't bypass your heart's motives and be confused by the many lesser-important things that come into play--for example, I like clothes reminiscent of hippie/bohemian/earthy/old world romanticism, and I (almost) despise business attire. Not because one is better than the other, but because I simply like one more and the other less, in conjunction with my personality. Other factors that necessarily contribute to the clothing you choose will be the work and play that occupies your time, the socioeconomic class and geographical area in which you live, the season of the year, whether the event is formal or casual, etc. But none of these things has the power to be modest and God-honoring--or otherwise--without your heart's direction and motivation.

Let's not get bogged down with skirt-length regulations, T-shirt circumference rules, or earring length gauges. Here's the crux of the matter: if you love Jesus, really really love him, and you've been saved by the grace of God through his Son Jesus, if you're walking on the road that is narrow and scorned by many, looking neither to the left nor to the right, if you have tasted of the love of God, then you will love the people in the world around you (including men) with the love that God bestowed on you who were unworthy--this love is the love of a sister for her brothers, a daughter for her father, a mother for her son, a wife for her husband--a love that helps, upholds, encourages, eases burdens and assists them in their wearisome battles. I am a sister to four brothers; many of you are sisters to brothers as well, and if you haven't a brother, I bet there is either a dad or a cousin or a nephew-- all of whom you won't be marrying, but whom you still love fiercely. A sister's love is angry when foolish girls tempt her brothers, even subtly. You need to be the girl who is loving these men, praying for them, and helping to shovel rocks out of the path, not standing there throwing more in their way.

In my mind, I see the faces and know the names of girls who go to youth group, go to church, occasionally post something Bible-ish on Facebook, but persistently cause their brothers in the Lord to stumble because they refuse to love those men with a selfless love that cares more for others than for oneself. They have their reward now, dear girls--the silly attention of foolish boys (see Proverbs 7) and the jealous half-friendships of equally trite girls. But, oh, my dear little sisters--do not be deceived--they will each give account for these things. You and I will stand before God and give an account as well. I have no desire to explain for years of egocentric living, wearing whatever garners immediate attention, regardless of the long-term consequences of wrecking other people's hearts and minds, do you?

But I'm telling you, sweet ones, it won't be easy. No way. It's hard to be quiet and modest, because you will be overlooked, ignored, misunderstood, and all manner of other unpleasant things. It's hard because your biggest battles aren't from the outside, they're waged from within between our carnal nature and our new nature in Christ! It's hard because you will want the attention those other flashy girls get, you'll feel unlovely and not beautiful at times, and besides all of that, it will be inconvenient and a lot of work. These are all things the devil will gladly point out to you in hopes of getting you to give up on the mission altogether, in order to concentrate on "more important" aspects of your Christian life. He might suggest that you go on a mission trip or volunteer someplace doing something benevolent, anything to pacify your conscience and keep you wearing the clothes that are hurting God's up-and-coming men who are currently making the devil nervous. You'd be the perfect, subtle thing to trip them up and keep them from doing anything really worthwhile. Then you can all limp along in carnal Christianity, totally crippled spiritually and accomplishing nothing for the kingdom. Perfect.

I know, I know--this letter's getting long. You get the point. It's serious stuff here, girls. I'm not trying to be a killjoy--honestly! I love putting together outfits and accessories as much as any girl. It's so fun to find just the perfect thing. That's all fine and good, but please, please think about what you're wearing, who you're wearing it for, and why you picked this item over that one--examine what's going on way down there in those reeeally hidden places of your heart. Perhaps all is not as it seems, and some serious prayer and wardrobe re-vamping are in order.

It may sound simple or cliched, but seriously, if Jesus Christ, your Lord and Savior whom you love and adore, saw you in everything you wear, walked with you, sat with you, and saw you in action--would he rejoice or would he be grieved? And by the way, no need to imagine if he were by your side . . . he already is.

All my love,
~Brenna

. . . Coram Deo . . .
"Living before the face of God"